Recently a client and I had a conversation about discipline; the kind that provides structure and support in moving forward in our life’s projects. What we discovered is that discipline has such a negative connotation. In fact, as we become more clear about what it is we are committed to, discipline becomes one of our best friends on the journey. Whether its keeping integrity in being available for clients calls, or waking at the same time every morning, discipline is one of the practices that supports all of our other practices in the day.

As a parent of two young boys, I am discovering that summertime can become a time of chaos. While I do love the implications of chaos and the possibility that lies there, there is something else that offers support to our family as well: healthy rhythms. With a shift in our everyday routines we are invited to recreate the discipline of our day. Something as basic as regular time set aside for well-being might need to be shifted, but the commitment is honored, and the practice remains.

Take a look at the introduction to my chapter in the new book Incredible Life!

The Embodiment of Integrity

The Secret to Personal Power and Fulfillment
By Jennifer Mayfield, MPA

$24.50 includes shipping

“Incredible Life is a key tool in planning, clarifying and pursuing a life of your deepest desires and highest aspirations. This comprehensive resource from twenty of the country’s top experts provides you with guidance, how-to skills, strategies and insights to give you everything you need to be who you most want to be and cultivate the life you want to lead.”

Happiness is when what you think, what you say,
and what you do are in harmony.
- Mahatma Gandhi, peace activist

Many people are seeking the quick fix to success, manifestation or a life full of joy. I have a secret to share with you: personal power and fulfillment lie in living a life of integrity, a life that is pure of heart. There is no quick fix to get there; the answer lies in knowing who it is you want to be in the world, declaring it, honing the actions you take to create it and then pursuing a life guided by integrity with devoted and crystal focus. This all starts with building a relationship with your own heart.

If you want to discover a pathway to lightheartedness, clarity, vitality, serenity and love—for yourself first and from there you will have a cupful for others—integrity will take you there. This path is not for the faint of heart. It requires a willingness to stand in the face of the storm if necessary, trusting that on the other side is the sweet experience of feeling bathed by the storm showers, and drinking in the light from the emerging sun. Life becomes a playground of effortless self-effort.

This chapter offers you practices to become more intimate with your personal integrity. If you want to bring joy, connection and power into your life, this chapter will provide practices to support you. You will learn how to develop the ability to be with what is so, and when the moment comes, to choose powerfully to take action. Imagine living your life 90 percent of the time in integrity, experiencing a life that looks and feels on the outside what you envision on the inside. From this place of whole and complete freedom, what would you be doing? Who would you be?

I am defining integrity as living a life that honors your commitments and is aligned with the truth of your heart. What an exciting possibility! Through discovery of your personal commitments and acting within them, life naturally falls into alignment. When you are in harmony, there is a sense of unity within and without. You are the embodiment of integrity.

Often new coaching clients come to me with lives that are “wonky.” I immediately check in with them about their integrity. I invite them to create an Integrity Checklist where they write down all of the areas where their actions are not in alignment with their words and thoughts. The idea is to create a list that touches all areas of their lives, and ranges from “eating more vegetables,” to “breaking up with my long-term lover” as places to look. We lovingly and ruthlessly root out as much as we can that is not in alignment. Then, the invitation is to get on task, checking the list off. A few check marks later and my clients report experiencing serenity, surges of power, and days that are more easeful.

How about you? I invite you to take the time to create your own list. Take a moment and write down anywhere in your life that you are aware that your actions are not in alignment with what you value and what you are thinking and saying.

In the long term, I work closely with my coaching clients to discover what it is they really want in life. It may sound easy, but as you begin to practice making commitments in life, you may discover what so many of my clients discover: that sometimes they get what they said they wanted and they didn’t really want it. It could be years of schooling to become an attorney, only to discover they did it for their parents. Or saving enough money to purchase a new couch and a few days later, the thrill is gone. Or it could be taking time to volunteer, then realizing that their work with the charity is not as fulfilling as expected. There are layers of unlearning, and practicing stepping into discovery of what is at the heart of their desires for themselves. When they gain clarity, they can be effective in creating whatever they want for themselves and others as well; they can be a true contribution to the world.