Take a look at the introduction to my chapter in the new book Incredible Life!

The Embodiment of Integrity

The Secret to Personal Power and Fulfillment
By Jennifer Mayfield, MPA

Happiness is when what you think, what you say,
and what you do are in harmony.
- Mahatma Gandhi, peace activist

Many people are seeking the quick fix to success, manifestation or a life full of joy. I have a secret to share with you: personal power and fulfillment lie in living a life of integrity, a life that is pure of heart. There is no quick fix to get there; the answer lies in knowing who it is you want to be in the world, declaring it, honing the actions you take to create it and then pursuing a life guided by integrity with devoted and crystal focus. This all starts with building a relationship with your own heart.

If you want to discover a pathway to lightheartedness, clarity, vitality, serenity and love—for yourself first and from there you will have a cupful for others—integrity will take you there. This path is not for the faint of heart. It requires a willingness to stand in the face of the storm if necessary, trusting that on the other side is the sweet experience of feeling bathed by the storm showers, and drinking in the light from the emerging sun. Life becomes a playground of effortless self-effort.

This chapter offers you practices to become more intimate with your personal integrity. If you want to bring joy, connection and power into your life, this chapter will provide practices to support you. You will learn how to develop the ability to be with what is so, and when the moment comes, to choose powerfully to take action. Imagine living your life 90 percent of the time in integrity, experiencing a life that looks and feels on the outside what you envision on the inside. From this place of whole and complete freedom, what would you be doing? Who would you be?

I am defining integrity as living a life that honors your commitments and is aligned with the truth of your heart. What an exciting possibility! Through discovery of your personal commitments and acting within them, life naturally falls into alignment. When you are in harmony, there is a sense of unity within and without. You are the embodiment of integrity.

Often new coaching clients come to me with lives that are “wonky.” I immediately check in with them about their integrity. I invite them to create an Integrity Checklist where they write down all of the areas where their actions are not in alignment with their words and thoughts. The idea is to create a list that touches all areas of their lives, and ranges from “eating more vegetables,” to “breaking up with my long-term lover” as places to look. We lovingly and ruthlessly root out as much as we can that is not in alignment. Then, the invitation is to get on task, checking the list off. A few check marks later and my clients report experiencing serenity, surges of power, and days that are more easeful.

How about you? I invite you to take the time to create your own list. Take a moment and write down anywhere in your life that you are aware that your actions are not in alignment with what you value and what you are thinking and saying.

In the long term, I work closely with my coaching clients to discover what it is they really want in life. It may sound easy, but as you begin to practice making commitments in life, you may discover what so many of my clients discover: that sometimes they get what they said they wanted and they didn’t really want it. It could be years of schooling to become an attorney, only to discover they did it for their parents. Or saving enough money to purchase a new couch and a few days later, the thrill is gone. Or it could be taking time to volunteer, then realizing that their work with the charity is not as fulfilling as expected. There are layers of unlearning, and practicing stepping into discovery of what is at the heart of their desires for themselves. When they gain clarity, they can be effective in creating whatever they want for themselves and others as well; they can be a true contribution to the world.

Lately I’ve noticed a personal phenomena that I see in my clients as well: the Inner Critic. That voice inside my head that says things like “I can do it better” before the person who is acknowledging me is even finished. Sometimes that voice, which I also call my Survival Mechanism is loud and dominant, sometimes quiet and persistent. In any case, it’s like a big stick that I hit myself with from the inside. Really, would I want anyone I love to do that to themselves? Certainly not! And, I’ve made a commitment to support them and myself in putting that stick down. For good.

The other day I had the gift of receiving some healing work that was pivotal in befriending my Critic. The day after the session, I distinguished the Critic again and again and realized what an ingrained and automatic part of me it is. I think my Critic and Perfectionist might be engaged to be married, but that’s another tangent…To my physical, mental and energetic relief, the part of me that is Unconditional Love stood up, turned towards the Critic, and embraced it. In that moment of love and connection, the critic dissolved.

Now I make it a practice to embrace the Critic, over and over again. I am learning that whatever has a hold on me or my clients, that which we most want to turn away from, is exactly what needs undivided, loving attention. What is it for you today? Is it your Critic, Money Fears, Unworthiness, Failure or some other voice that is nagging away at you, disempowering the Power and Possibility that is You? I invite you to notice, turn towards it and engage it with love and respect. With all the sticks we put down, we could create a structure of support that could hold anything! Imagine that…

Sending gratitude.

Below is an Accomplishment Coaching interview I did on February 27, 2009. The interview was conducted on Blog Talk Radio with the amazing Kathy Fleming and equally amazing Stacy Duhon. Sue Oliver of Passions and Possibilities graciously gave us air time to share why we’re passionate about Professional Life Coaching. Her insightful and provocative questions gave us all the opportunity to share the possibilities coaching offers to anyone interested in expressing their greatness and realizing their highest dreams.

Check it out

 

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